Does it have to reciprocate?

QuestionA few years ago, I was the maid of honour for my friend’s wedding. Now that it’s my turn, I’m just wondering, do I automatically have to choose her to be my maid of honour?

AnswerChoosing your bridal party can often be a very delicate situation, one that requires tact and sensitivity from the future bride. Know that your friends and family only want what is best for you.

Although you were her maid of honour, your maid of honour can be whomever you choose, male or female. You may, however, want to ask her to be one of your attendants or to be a key player in your wedding.

To avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings, do make your decisions early and have a good heart-to-heart conversation with your friend. Explain your choices with sensitivity and empathy (e.g. “Miki, I really want you to be a part of my wedding day. John’s sister will be my maid of honour because it means a lot to him. I would love for you to be a part of my wedding. Will you be my bridesmaid/MC/design coordinator? It would mean a lot to me?”). A little sensitivity goes a long way.