My best friend is a man! Can he be my maid of honour?

QuestionMy best friend is a man and I’d really like for him to be my “Maid of honour”? Is that proper? Can I do that without looking like I’ve done something wrong?

AnswerAbsolutely!!! There is no reason why you can’t have him in your bridal party! There are a few changes you’d have to keep in mind. First off, let’s call him “man of honour” or “bride’s honour attendant” (not maid of honour) or “bridesman” or “honour attendant” (not bridesmaid).

Let your wedding photographer know that you have a slightly different lineup for your wedding party so that no one is left out of the photos and they are placed accordingly if you are doing formal posed photographs.

Being that your best friend is a male, it is best not to ask him to attend all-female showers since it may be slightly awkward for him to be the only male there. Consider doing a “Jack and Jill” or pre-wedding parties that include your girlfriends and their partners to even out the mix of the guests.

Likewise, you may want to avoid asking him to help you shop for a wedding gown or to help you bustle your wedding gown on the wedding day since these duties often take the bridal party into the restroom and private fitting rooms.

Before you simply go about making these changes, do keep him informed of your decisions and tactfully explain your thoughts (e.g. “I’m so glad you’ve said yes to be my man of honour and I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you. Let me know what you think. How do you feel about going gown shopping? What’s your comfort level like? I was thinking?”)

Your man of honour will wear the same formal wear as the other men in the wedding party. Give him a special boutonniere, cummerbund, or tie to distinguish him from the other men.