Is it only the parents of the bride that plans the wedding? Do the parents of the groom help with the wedding too?

QuestionIs it still the right of the bride and the bride’s family to plan the wedding along with the groom? What then would be the planning rights of the groom’s family? What are the parents of the groom responsible for? My husband and I are the groom’s parents and we’re unsure of what we should be doing.

AnswerIn times past, the parents of the bride were responsible for the wedding expenses. Having said that however, the parents of the groom are also involved in the planning process although to a much smaller degree. Here is a general list of ideas for you:

  • If the parents of the groom have yet to connect with the bride’s family, this is the perfect time to establish a relationship with them to ensure a smooth wedding planning process.
  • The groom’s family can also host an engagement party after the parents of the bride first host one.
  • The parents of the groom can provide the bride’s family with the designated number of wedding guests for the groom’s side of the family.
  • The groom’s family should inform the bride’s family of any family traditions to consider for the wedding.
  • It’s always a good idea for the parents of the groom to connect with the bride’s family on wedding attire. While both sets of parents are not to wear identical outfits (unless of course, both fathers want to wear the same tuxedo), they should complement one another in tone and formality.
  • The mother of the groom is invited to all the bridal showers and the father of the groom may be invited to the groom’s bachelor party.
  • The groom’s parents attend and participate in the wedding rehearsal.
  • The groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner.

There are a few smaller expenses that the groom’s family pays for, such as the engagement and wedding rings, marriage license, officiant fees, florals, honeymoon, music, etc.

As you can read from the list of items, the groom’s family does partake in quite a few elements of the wedding planning process. However, it is important to acknowledge that every family is different. The best way to approach the wedding is to have a good heart to heart chat with the groom and his future bride about his expectations and hopes for his ideal wedding. Perhaps there is something the groom would really love to see his parents do which may fall outside the normal realm of ‘what is to be expected’.