How do I choose my bridesmaids?

QuestionI have a lot of girlfriends and it’s difficult to decide who to choose for my bridesmaids. I want to have about 3 bridesmaids and 1 maid of honour. I don’t want anyone to be upset that they weren’t chosen. Is there a delicate way I can do this?

AnswerKnow that a wedding is meant to be a joyous occasion, one that friends and family are more than eager to be a part of. Try to make your decision soon after your engagement is announced to avoid any unwanted assumptions about who will be in the bridal party. The decision is ultimately yours to make on who you would like to have as your maid/matron of honour and as your bridesmaids. There are, however, some key questions you can yourself that may help you decide who to have in your bridal party.

Among your core group of girlfriends, who do you have the strongest bond with and have shared the most memorable experiences with? Who have you known the longest? Who is the most supportive/ funny/witty/reliable friend who can stand by your side through the countless hours of planning and for the entire wedding day? Who would be most comfortable with the financial responsibilities of being a bridesmaid? Keep in mind, the gals will be spending a lot of time together so you may also want to consider friends that are compatible with one another.

Once you have decided who will be in your bridal party, approach the rest of your girlfriends individually. Be sensitive and reinforce how important she is to you and that you would love for her to be involved in your wedding.

Responsible and trusty girlfriends may be key players in your wedding to assist in the important details of the wedding day. Key players are particularly important since the entire wedding party will be busy posing for photos and socializing with guests. Ask close girlfriends to read at the ceremony or to make speeches at the reception. Others with a creative flare may become the designated “Decorating Divas” to oversee decorative aspects at the church and reception site.

If all of your girlfriends have equal value, then choose a fair method to select your bridesmaids. Consider drawing names out of a hat, choosing girls you have known for the longest amount of time (e.g. friends from kindergarten or junior high).

A little tact and empathy on your part towards the feelings of your friends and family will go a long way in setting the tone for your wedding experience.