Can I uninvite wedding guests after the wedding invites have been sent out?

QuestionI’m getting married and I’ve already had my bridal shower and the wedding invitations have all gone out. The problem is I would now like to uninvite someone from the guest list. A few issues have come up since the shower but they’ve already RSVP’d that she is coming. What can I do?

AnswerWhile in the strictest sense of etiquette it is seen as inappropriate to uninvite a wedding guest, it’s important to remind brides that every family situation is different. There are times when we regret inviting certain people to the wedding and there are definitely some tactful ways to ‘uninvite’ them.

In this particular instance, you may want to call the guest and say, “Beth, I’m calling because I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate our friendship and that it troubles me but I have to cut down on the guest list because we’ve come into a budget crunch. I know that as a close friend, you’ll support me in this decision and I’d love for us to get together before/after the wedding.”

You may want to create a script similar to this one and rehearse it prior to your phonecall. The key is to focus on an external factor rather than one that highlights the poor etiquette of the wedding guest.